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Episode #101 "Pilot"


Mavis is smoking at the front desk of her hotel, the Lamont, when Nasim, the Persian handyman, comes up and complains that her brother Courtney is always looking over his shoulder when he's working. How long, exactly, is he staying? Courtney comes in and announces that he has a job interview at a prestigious law firm. Mavis reminds Courtney to take Enron off his resume. Later, in the kitchen, Mavis is making fun of George Bush on TV when Courtney tells her he's bringing his new girlfriend by, and he doesn't want her to be surprised. She's white. Of course, says Mavis, the perfect accessory for every successful black man. Nasim brings in one of the hotels TVs that's clearly seen better days. Mavis needs to replace it to keep up the hotel's high standards of the hotel. She shows Courtney the brochure for the full-service boutique hotel complete with concierge. Where's this, Courtney wants to know. You're in it, says Mavis. Courtney cautions Mavis that she needs to cut costs, because not a lot of people are traveling. Nonsense, says Mavis. The joint will be jumping when she starts singing in the Nappy Dugout Lounge. Just because she had one hit in 1986, Courtney protests, but Mavis pays no attention. Nasim adds that he adores her big hit, "Don't Hide Love," which is still has a place on the Kuwati R&B charts. Rita, Courtney's new girlfriend arrives. She dresses and talks like a street sister. Mavis doesn't get it. Why doesn't he just go out with a black woman? For some reason, confides Courtney, black women aren't attracted to him. Rita is teaching him about rap and hip hop and lots of other things he knew nothing about. She's teaching you to be black, says Mavis. Later, Mavis is outside the hotel smoking when Nasim comes up. She loves her brother, she tells him, but if he stays much longer she's going to kill him. He has to get a job! To ease her burden, Nasim volunteers to be the concierge. Mavis isn't sure it will work, but she takes him up on it. Mavis goes to the electronics store where Victor, the sales clerk, recognizes her and flatters her into buying a huge, very expensive TV. She's please with herself, because it's no money down, no payments for 18 months, and she deserves it! Back at the hotel, Courtney's going over the books and tells Mavis she really can't afford to spend $300 for a TV. She'd never do that she assures him as the delivery guys put the new $4000 TV in her bedroom. At the front desk, Nasim is harassing a well-meaning hotel guest who has just called him an Arab. Mavis tries to calm Nasim down, but he's going crazy. It's so obvious that he's Persian. Mavis can tell the difference, can't she? Mavis confesses that they all look alike to her, but that's not the point. She likes him. But he can't act crazy; it scares the white people. Mavis finds Courtney in her bedroom watching her new TV. He's also found the contract. He points to a clause and tells her that in 15 years she'll have paid $26,000. The TV has to go back. Mavis recruits Nasim to go with her to the electronics store as her "business manager." Victor tells Nasim about their no-returns policy and adds that he once bought a rug from one of his cousins. Mavis stands back as the fun begins. The store is "persuaded" to take back the TV. Back at the hotel, Mavis tells Rita that if she's going to hang around there, she has to be white. Rita hasn't a clue what she means. She announces that her dad has given Courtney a job. When Courtney tells her it's a job as a limo driver, Mavis says no, he'll hang his shingle out at the hotel!

Mavis Rae
Whoopi Goldberg
Wren T. Brown
Omid Djalili
Elizabeth Regen

© 2006 The Carsey-Werner Company LLC All rights reserved.